dswdiane

Actually gonna take care of myself. Miracles do happen.

2026-04-16T03:18:15Z

Too many patients were upset and stressed out today. Only one because of taxes and money. All the rest about relationships. As per usual. Even had to see a patient in crisis this even after 7:00. But he was so upset that I'm glad he called and I was able to talk him down.

But I'm wiped out and exhausted. My eyes are actually burning from tiredness. So, I'm going early to bed. As soon as this song is over. Duncan, Methos, and Connor, I promise I'll get back to you tomorrow. Promise. I just need sleep tonight.

The sweetness of that Mick and Keith pic always makes me smile.

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Killa and writing and plotting

2026-04-13T04:02:27Z

Thus far no writing today. At all. But Killa and talked for probably an hour about the plot of Book 3--my problems with it, her problems with it and how to fix said problems without losing what I want the story to be about which is mostly Methos being in danger, the danger bringing feelings about trauma in the past, Duncan and Connor and Methos, himself, being committed to keeping Methos safe and emotionally stable (hey, that's not always easy when severe trauma from the past is coming up) saving and/or rescuing him (or other characters) as needed with assistance from Joe, and less so but still there and available Amanda and Richie. And I'd have to say that that previous sentence may have achieved the status of being numbered among the most run-on sentences ever written. And that is not even all of the elements of the plot, because omigods, I forgot to even mention the ever important on-going and on-going and on-going plot about Methos and Duncan doing what all of us have to do in relationships--fighting, making up, and negotiating and renegotiating how to maintain a long term relationship. And the on-going work that goes on between everyone and everyone about having a long lasting friendship. And no, friendships do not require the same amount of work as committed relationships, but all relationships require some work.

Gods that was a long run-on babble. Thanks for your patience if you actually read it.

And hooray, hurrah Lissa and I got to spend hours and hours hanging out and talking and talking and talking today. Glorious. Made me so happy I'm still glowing. Yay.

Then had a lovely chatting conversation with annavere. Now just hanging about and thinking about writing. May or may not. At least I know more about where I'm going.

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What did I do today?

2026-04-11T05:37:25Z

I saw three clients or maybe four. I chatted with three or four friends, including Anna, <user name=Annavere>, and Lissa. And chatted and chatted with Lissa, off and on all day, starting at about 10:00 am my time and not saying g'night till 10:00 pm. And she said something awesome about my story:

"Funny, hot, and sweet! (registered trademark: dswdiane) ♥"

Oh, Lissa, how I adore you.

So I also reread a wonderful Sherlock story by LauraJV and made a bunch of comments about it. And I went through my spam folder and rescued all the comments and replies to comments and kudos that had been going to spam since a month ago in March. And for all I know before that. I just thought no one was reading anything I said. Gods. I'm so preoccupied with writing I hardly know what else is happening.

Why the hell does my type keep changing size? I want to get back to book 3, chapter 5. Which I will do tomorrow. I really, really will. I'm considering making the title Present, Past, Future Tense--All Imperfect. Omigods, I'm already thinking about making book 4, like 10 or 20 years into Duncan/Methos being together. Stop that right now. I still haven't finished plotting Book 3, though I know exactly where it's going for a while yet.

I give up on figuring out what my type is doing. Oh. Lissa told me how to steal an icon. <user name=carenejeans> I'm going to steal one from you right now. It's after 1:00 am. I need to crash.

I want to work on chapter 5 tomorrow. And I will. The music right now is keeping me. Enough of rock for now. Perfect the next track on my playlist is one from the Jaws soundtrack. Time to go to bed and fantasize about my favorite scene that I won't get to write for probably quite a little bit of time. Um, no. I can see a way to get to it more quickly and efficiently. Poor Methos.

Oh. Funniest interaction of the day: Me: So tell me that I do NOT want to even contemplate participating in Whump challenge involving a story about Methos/Kronos. And later in same story h/c with Duncan/Methos. TELL ME that. Make it mandatory.
Killalissa: honey, you are already writing that
Me: Hmm. Yes, I guess I am. I don't need to write anything for a Whump challenge. All of what I write is Whump challenge.
Me: "Darkness is a hunger that insatiable. Lightness has a call that's hard to hear. I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it. I'm crawling on your shores." is so Methos, isn't it really?
Killa: yes, I never thought of it that way before! Indigo Girls always make me think of Xena and Gabrielle, but that lyric is totally Methos

More chatter then Me: Thinking title of book three might should be Present, Past, and Future Tense all Imperfect. Maybe
K: I like that! they are/Methos is a work in progress
Me: Aren't we all. But he is more so than a lot--because he has a lot more of all of it.
K: Methos just said to me, "Me a little more than most, I think."
Me: Poor sweet baby. My Duncan just announced in my head "*My* baby." yes, Duncan, we know that. Truly. We do.
K: 😂 to “ My Duncan just announced in my head "*My* baby." yes, Duncan, we know that. Truly. We do. ”

And now I really, really have to crash. G'night all.

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Actually NOT a Misbehaving AO3

2026-04-10T18:43:16Z

I have checked my preferences on AO3, have not changed a thing, and all seems to be as desired--so--

If you're reading this, please be advised, that I am not getting email notifications of any kudos, comments, or replies to ANY comments I've made on other people's works. And this has been going on for well over a week. I have notified AO3 of this problem as of about ten minutes ago, so of course, not response has been made yet. But if you have replied to any comments I've made on AO3, please be advised I do not know about it.

That's all for now. Gods.

Nope, nope, nope. All my fault. I have no idea what I did, but all my emails from AO3 have been going to spam. Since the beginning of March. Ye fucking gods. I think I rescued all of them. All 40 I could finds in the bloody spam folder which only goes back to March 10. Kill me now, please.

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Aggravating muses

2026-04-08T18:41:54Z

So, first they distract me from the third book in this series in which I have written four chapters and am halfway through a fifth one to insist I HAVE to write a new scene after the end of "Til Death." After Methos has precipitated Duncan dropping and shattering a Ming vase.

Then Methos refuses to be happy with the first five versions of what I write which is close to what he wants, but not quite. Finally, finally, finally Methos and Duncan and me are happy with the first 2000 words. And I happily go to sleep last night. At 1:30 am.

Then they wake me up at 5:00 am this morning demanding the next scene and describing it to me in detail--and it is absolute porn (shut UP, both of you, you can call it erotica until you turn blue and fall right over). (Yes, I know it's not graphically explicit, but it IS sex from beginning to end). Gods. And both of them are implicated. There's plenty of blame to go around. Thank the gods, several clients cancelled today. I am fried.

Maybe more later. And it is later. And since I started writing at about 7:30 am because I very considerately did NOT wake up my spousal unit so I could go type in the same room. Which is where this computer lives and there is naught to be done about that except live with it. For now anyway. Anyway I now have close to 4000 words and only one more scene to write with is actually mostly a denouement.

And now I want to tear up chapter 5 of book 3 and change it. A Lot. Because I have had a better idea. So it was good that I got distracted into writing a different story instead of forging on. Thank you beta Paul for totally brilliant suggestion.

If I have more to say, I can write more later.

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Writing

2026-04-06T05:16:32Z

There really is a problem with listening to my playlist of favorite favorites while writing. I get so caught up in the music that I cannot continue to write. Dammit. The guitar in "Blood Brothers" Iron Maiden just captures my head and body. Okay, now Springsteen, "Badlands." That song is so much a part of me that it's worn a familiar groove in my head. Um, spoke too soon. It still catches me. Think I need to turn the damn music off so I can hear what Duncan and Methos are saying. I'll always get caught by "For the ones who had a notion
A notion deep inside, That it ain't no sin to be glad you're alive."

So I was gonna turn it off but along comes Human by The Killers. Love that one too much and it moves me every damn time--as in my body starts moving.

And this story is a bitch. It won't let me go, but it keep moving to places that I didn't expect it to go. Well, hell, Duncan and Methos frequently to that to me. I ought to be used to it by now. And it's after 1:00 am. I totally gotta crash. The story will still be waiting when I wake tomorrow.

And it was lovely going out to for dinner with Speck, Roy, and Michael this evening. I'm really enjoying becoming closer and closer in my friendship with Speck.

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Damn story ideas

2026-04-05T07:24:38Z

Wrote about 1500 words today. Half on chapter 5. The other half on a new first time Duncan/Methos story that popped into my head last night and then this morning would not leave me alone. Starring flaming brat mischievous Methos. Discovered I had to write that before I could concentrate on WIP.

Methos, you are the most annoying muse who ever lived. Yes, I know Duncan is just as invested in this story as you are, but it's from your POV and has to do with your feelings so it's on you.

I gotta go bed. It's after 3:00 am. I am insane.

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Wrote a lot

2026-04-04T19:36:47Z

I did some really good work with all the patients I saw today. Than feels good.

Wrote about 2000 words. Probably gonna cut some of it, but we'll see when editing tomorrow. Know roughly what the next few scenes will be and the general direction of the plot.

I'm really tired. Worked hard this week. Wrote a lot. Spent a healthy amount of time hanging out with friends both in person and online.

Wrote all of that last night at about midnight. Didn't post. Don't even know why I didn't. Gods, I was tired beyond tired.

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Why am I not in bed already?

2026-04-03T05:49:12Z

I need, need, need to crash. I wish I could understand why I've become allergic to sleep unless it's in the morning after I should be out of bed already. Gods.

It may have something to do with the fact that I want to keep writing and I have good music playing right into my ears and I don't turn the damn playlist off. And almost all of it is music that could easily be danced to. Not exactly restful.

Okay, two more songs and then I have to stop. Only two. My gods I never want to stop listening.

Voice of Sanity! Go the hell to bed. NOW. Methos, Connor, and Duncan will be fine until tomorrow and then I can write all damn weekend.

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Write Every Day Challenge

2026-04-01T23:49:08Z

Copied from carenejeans

What is Write Every Day (or as we affectionately type it to save typing) WED?

Write Every Day is an informal writing challenge that moves from journal to journal, hosted by different people instead of on a central comm. It's probably a weird way of doing things, but that's how it's set up and — it's worked so far!

I'm hosting it for the first half of this month ([personal profile] sanguinity will take over on the 16th) . Every day I'll make a post where people can check in to comment on what they've written that day, whether a single sentence or thousands of words; or to talk about problems, ask questions, and generally cheer each other on.

There are no sign-ups. Anyone is welcome to join at any time. Just comment and voila! You have joined.

What counts as "writing" is fairly relaxed, and can include working on research, plotting, RPG text, free-writing, and the ever-useful "alibi sentence," which is what it sounds like, a single sentence written primarily to count as writing for that day.

The goal is to write every day, but it's not required. A tally is kept of everyone's daily writing check-in, but it's to help people stay on track. It isn't a race.

The challenge is meant to help each other develop a consistent writing habit, keep procrastination at bay, get through difficult times, overcome writer's block, and to just keep at it.

If you want more information, read [personal profile] zwei_hexen's, ([personal profile] ysilme and [personal profile] sylvanwitch) Welcome to Write Every Day! which goes into the rules (mostly guidelines) in more depth.

Goals & Plans for the Month

If you have any special goals or plans for the month, feel free to share them! My only plan for the month is to write every day. ;-)

Quote of the Day:

"You don't have to write every day to be a writer, you just have to feel guilty every day that you don't."

— Nic Farey, in his SF fanzine This Here.

Onward!

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Trying to amuse myself

2026-03-28T17:59:24Z

Sitting in a workshop on counter transference, self disclosure, and self care. Not one thing has been said that I have not already heard 90 million and seven times. Boriiiiinnngggg.

Hours. I'm collecting three more hours of the 35 I need to renew my license this year. Now I only have to get five more before October something or another and I'm signed up and have paid for a six hour one in April: Healing Trauma Through Somatic Therapy and the Nervous System

Okay, something I've never heard before, finally: Freud once wrote a letter to Jung in which he stated, "Took a short vacation and now I have to get back to my bunch of nuts--" Jung published it. I am amused.

Using horsemen Methos icon because sitting through this on a Saturday morning makes me want to rampage and pillage. Very unlikely to do so. (Also Methos icon because he's pretty, pretty, pretty. Yum.)

I hope to goodness the one in April is interesting. The best so far this year has been "Ethics for working with Geek culture" and "Using table top gaming as psychotherapy." C'mon, fellow geeky therapists, create more workshop that reflect our peculiar culture. I guess I could create one myself--no, NO, no--I created and organized at least two workshops and an entire weekend conference when I was a member or the chair of the LGBTQA+ committee of the GA Psychological Association. It is more work than could be imagined. But they were really good workshops and it was a great conference--the conference was called, "Sexuality in the South, Y'all." We had workshops on BDSM and polyamory and trans issues and how hormone treatment works for trans people done by an endocrinologist and a psychiatrist with much experience in working with trans people.

One of the workshops which was before Gay Pride weekend had to do with spirituality and being gay and we had as presenters a gay rabbi, a gay Episcopal priest, a gay Methodist theological scholar, and glory be a bisexual Southern Baptist minister. We were supposed to have a trans Presbyterian cleric but she had to cancel that week. Now I'm remembering more workshops I helped organize. It's all an enormous amount of work.

I'm finding fic that presents Sherlock as ACE (asexual) and just makes it a fact of who he is--as in no big deal--and in one of them, at least, he ends up married to John anyway. They have plenty of affection, but no sex, and it's all good. I told that to an ACE person I know well who's nuts about Sherlock. She was excited.

I've written a scene of Connor and Methos dancing together at a Goth club--as in really dancing *together.* I cannot stop fiddling with it. I like this much of it and now I've even rewritten what I liked:

During the cover of "Human," Methos caught Connor's eye, looked at the women around them, and shrugged. He held out a hand and mouthed, "Shall we? Show em how?"
Connor grinned and grabbed Methos' hand, whirled him under an arm, spun him around, and mouthed, "I lead?"
"You always do." Methos laughed out. Connor laughed back, spun Methos again, passed him behind his back, and around to front again. He pulled Methos' back hard against his chest, and crossed his arms over Methos' chest, still holding both his hands. They swayed together for a moment before he pulled Methos' arms down to his sides, swung him around, whirled him under one arm then spun him out along the length of one arm and back in along the other.

Then lots of description of dancing that I keep rewriting and rewriting. I like the ending though:

Connor pulled Methos close and murmured into his ear, "Fun. Fucking love you lots."
Methos grinned. "Han Solo at you."
Connor punched him lightly on the upper arm, pointed to the bar, and mimed drinking. Methos was already dancing with no one in particular to "Bela Lugosi."
"Beer," Methos mouthed. Connor nodded and traveled to the bar.
One of the girls followed and asked curiously, "You two do that a lot?"
Connor laughed. "We have. In just about every club in New York."
"It looks it. Know each other's moves real well. You together?"
Connor laughed again. "Nope. Just BFF for years and years and for real forever. He's totally taken. And, yes, we'll be leaving together. But, me, I'm open to taking some numbers."
She looked down for a moment, took a breath, looked up at him and asked, "Would you be willing to dance with me like that?"
He grinned. "Sure. Let's do it. I'm Connor."
"Sharon." She hesitated. "I won't keep up like he does."
Connor shrugged with another grin. "Not expected. You haven't been putting up with me for about a 150 years like he has."

Maybe fun for readers--nice to have some fun to balance the angst. And oh is there Methos angst. Poor baby needs to have some fun and Connor knows it.

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This and that

2026-03-25T04:00:00Z

So, I ran away from fandom in about 2012 gafiated, I believe the term used to be--short for getting away from it all. I didn't run away because I no longer wanted to be there except partially. Mostly it was because I had to work about 160 million hours/week. Well, actually I was working 35-40 hours a week at the counseling center at GSU (GA State University) and maintaining a private practice seeing about 15 clients a week and driving back and forth between the two. Roy, my spousal unit, was out of work or working part time in retail during that time and my son who was 24 didn't have work at all and had significant health issues. None of us had health insurance because the AHCA didn't require coverage of pre-existing conditions until 2014. I could go on and on about all the financial responsibility I had to manage, but I won't.

And to be 100% honest, I also ran away because I had been hurt very, very badly by someone in fandom. It's only been recently that I think I've truly finished grieving what happened there. I won't say another word about it in what could be a public forum.

My best friend since high school died sometime or another in the oughts--no--it had to have been in the 90s. She and I were, thank the gods, able to say everything we needed to say to one another before she died and I was at her side (literally) when she actually died.

I had also been living in polyamorous triad since 1986 and one of my partners left in 2006. It was an amicable parting of ways for the most part--but it was another loss of a big part of my life.

Long story short--I retreated into an introverted shell for the most part. I adored one of my colleagues at GSU. She and I hung out all the time when we weren't seeing clients and often hung out for lunch and after work. But mostly I worked all the time even when I left GSU and took almost all my clients including two therapy groups to my private practice with permission and blessings from the counseling center. I saw the groups on Saturdays. I did start taking Mondays off when I worked every Saturday.

In short, from 2012 until the last year or so, I worked. My primary social contacts after I left GSU were the characters in the books I read. We didn't even have a television from 2006 until the pandemic when someone gave me one to use to see clients. So I hung out with Mercy Thompson, Harry Dresden, Elvis Cole and Joe Pike, Miles Vorkosagin and his family, Jane Yellowrock, October Daye, Kate Daniels and Curran, Nevada and Rogan, Casey and Eric, Daemon Sadi, Jaenelle, and Lucivar Yaslana, Simon Wolfgard, Meg, and all the others in The Others, Chris Parker, Imala Anderson, and Sakai-Sama, Lily and her formidable grandmother in the Lupi series--Oh, all these characters in books which luckily my husband and son also read so I always had someone with who I could to talk about these people.

Last May--y'know, I don't really know what the hell happened--I don't remember whether I reached out to people I used to know first or if I started rewriting my Highlander fic first. However it happened, it happened. I think I actually got bloody tired of reading and reading and reading. Methos and Duncan were suddenly alive and back in my head all the time--I had some fairly decent stories that needed not extensive rewrites--Actually I think I reached out first because I found the Highlander discord group because I found my Killalissa who sent me there. I reconnected with Luminosity. I became friends rather quickly and intensively with Tornis.

And omigods, I was writing and writing and loving it. And Lissa and I, it seems like fairly soon were talking almost every day and omigods, she actually loves my duncan and methos almost as much as I love the way she writes them.

So why am I babble, babble, babbling here right now. I'm not sure. Part of it is that it's almost time to start book 3 about Duncan and Methos and this one is going to require extensive plotting. I've gotten the scene set in chapter 1 & 2 & half of 3, but now is the time to really start the plot the psychological parts of which are clear to me. The fucking action/adventure is gonna be much more of a pain to plot out. Gosh. Maybe I really do for once need to actually outline how it's gonna go. Book 1 had an action adventure plot but it just kinda flowed as I wrote it. The flow isn't happening in book 3. Well so it goes.

So why did I come here and blurt all these words out in this journal. Partly because Lissa has SO much going on that she's not available right now to plot with me. I need more people in my life that I can talk to and hang out with. I've been reaching out, but several potential friendships that interest me are just beginning to bud and certainly have not yet flowered. i just realized that I really could brainstorm with Tornis--they're really very good at helping me think through what the hell I'm doing with mechanics of plotting. I probably ought to to go and tell them so.

I think I also needed to get clear with myself about what's going on with me and the people in my life. My gods, I suddenly actually have people in my life and they're real flesh and blood people not the characters in my books.

I really should pause here and admit that I do have another 30 or so people in my life with whom I talk every week--but they're my patients and there are issues to be addressed. That's my work. They're not my friends--and they shouldn't be. I mean it's okay that S. and I have talked about Sherlock and Sherlock fic, but that's not the most important thing she and I discuss. It's okay that C and I talked about Lestat--I haven't even looked to see if there is Lestat fic. Not sure I want to. It's bad enough that I've gotten addicted to some Sherlock fic--Laura JV, if you read this, some of that is your fault.

And also, sometimes, talking to around 30 people every week with whom I actually pay attention to how their pasts are affecting their present and how they get in their own way and how to deal with parents and work and stay sane and healthy in a crazy world. Right. Sometimes all of that makes me want to either NOT talk to another person or to babble nonstop about what goes on with ME instead of listening so carefully. Though I can never really turn it off. Lissa pointed that out to me sometime recently. I said something to her about how what I said came out while I was wearing my psychologist hat. She gently informed me that as far as she can tell, I never really take that hat off. Probably so.

My gods, I've just written more about myself than I have in fucking ages. Enough already.

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Activism for a good cause

2026-02-14T06:26:16Z

I'm very, very proud of my son, Michael, this week.

So the GA House passed a bill to increase funding for nursing homes. Very good idea. It went to the Senate. The idiot GA senate added to amendments to it--1. Making the prescription of puberty blocker illegal. 2. Making it illegal for the state medical insurance plan to cover any medical treatment for gender dysphoria of any kind. And sent it back to the House the next day which was Wednesday of this week.

GA Equality sent me and alert asking for lobbyists to come down and talk to legislators. I had patients. Roy my spousal unit, had a conflicting art class he does for adults with special needs. But Roy took Michael down to the capital and on his own, he found the GA Equality people and went to talk to legislators, an activity which he had never done before.

He told our representative in the House a story about a very, very dear friend of his from when both were children, Syd. Syd made three serious suicide attempts when he started developing breasts and having periods. And almost succeeded in killing himself in at least one attempt because he had run away and had to be found.

Our rep who was going to vote against it anyway, told him that having a story about a real person who would have been directly affected by the law gave her ammunition to use when talking to her colleagues.

Thus far the Speaker of the House who is a Republican has said he doesn't plan to allow a vote on the amendments to be brought to the floor.

Whatever happens the amendments however, I am very proud of Michael for taking it on and doing it.

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Writing

2026-02-11T15:01:04Z

After a week in which I could not get Methos to tell me what the hell is going on with him, on Sunday both of them (Duncan and Methos) started talking to me again. YAY.

As a result I am now 2000 words into chapter one of book three which does not yet have a name of any kind, although it is a continuance of the Past Imperfect series--So Past Imperfect, Future as yet unknown--though loosely plotted.

My favorite part of what I've written so far:

"Methos closed his eyes for a moment. "I was taking a long walk—near the water—Trying to settle inside me what I'd talked about with Ralph. What we'd talked about was tiddlywinks compared to what came next—"

"Tiddlywinks?" Duncan cut in, laughing. "**Tiddlywinks**?"

Methos made a frustrated sigh. "A ridiculous game played with round—"

"I know *what* tiddlywinks are, Methos." Duncan kept laughing. "I just haven't heard anyone use it as a word/phrase/whatever the hell it is in years."

"It's fucking game, Duncan. And, in case it has escaped your notice, MacLeod, I AM *old*. Look, do you even want to hear—"

"Yes, I'm sorry," Duncan said contritely. "I'm really sorry. I do want to know what happened."

Methos grinned at him. "Furthermore, I know you were trying to make me laugh to relieve some of my tension. Thank you. That was unusually considerate of you."

"I beg your pardon. There is absolutely nothing unusual about—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah—mission accomplished. You can bloody well stop now—"

"You really, really want me to stop trying to make you laugh—urk" As one of Methos' pillows hit Duncan square in the face, he burst into startled laughter.

When both of them managed to stop laughing, Duncan pulled Methos into a hug and said, "Yes, I really want to hear what happened that was much more serious than tiddlywinks."

Methos settled back into curling up into Duncan's side with one of Duncan's arms around his shoulder and his face resting on Duncan's shoulder. "Yeah. But thank you for making me laugh. It did help. A lot. I knew there were a multitude of reasons I love you."

"Multitude of reasons I love you, too," Duncan said easily. "So, continue."

Methos nodded. "So I was walking and getting close to that area with the combined marina and the yacht club and the golf course and country club or whatever those things are called when they're all grouped together and on top of one another and yes, I know, there couldn't possibly be a golf course on top of a marina—"

"Sounds like a fascinating concept in landscaping and architecture," Duncan contributed helpfully."

So, yay, they're talking and they sound like themselves and just--yay.

I'm writing again, again, again. It really scared me last week after I finished book 2 and I wasn't much able to write anything except the first few paragraphs. But I think maybe my writing mind wanted a rest. I've written two full novels, a novella length story, a novelette, and three short stories since last May. And rewrote and posted all the short fiction (some of which were novella and novelette length) I wrote back before 2012.

And I am only happy when I'm writing and writing and writing. Well, I suppose maybe I can be happy doing other things, but not was happy as when I'm spending part of almost every day writing. And now I have a patient in about 10 minutes and really need to get focused on doing the work I get paid for. I have six clients today. Not bad. But gods, more and more and more every day I realize I much I really want to partially retire. I just looked and my gods, there are only about six or seven clients I really, really *want* to keep. OTOH, there are only four or five that I really, really wish would just go away and find a way to be content with life without my assistance.

All of that is an issue I really need to contemplate more fully because I really could take a partial retirement. Oh gods and demi-gods and shrieking demons (Methos please stop it already with these bizarre exclamations that end up only be used by you and me)(yeah right. As if--). If only the ones I most want to go away were not the same ones who have the most trouble with coping. Goddam ethical dilemmas suck.

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Loose ends

2026-02-06T06:24:44Z

I posted chapter 28 of "Past Imperfect. Present Pending." And it's over. Ended. Done. Took long enough. All 40,000 words of it. Gee, it took me from the end of September until February to write 40 thousand words. Two full novels since May.

Finished posting at about 2:00am much, much earlier today. Saw patients from 10:00am until 4:00pm. My last two cancelled. I only have four tomorrow. I had to deal with a crisis from around 6:00-7:00. Enough of talking about that.

I zoomed with a friend for an hour or so. I texted and texted with Killalissa, I watched a bunch of HL vids she sent me. I read some D/M stories written by Melina. They were excellent. The most recent was written over 20 years ago.

And I started feeling really itchy about not writing. Okay, I've taken a break. Time to jump back in. Right. But I have to do some research before writing this one.

Hmm, do I really have to do all the research before I start. Probably. Dammit. I could start the set up--I can certainly start putting Methos and Duncan in the setting I want them. Oh, Remy--I'm so very sorry--I'm just not ready to get back to my X-Men novel. I really haven't forgotten you. Logan, will you please just drag Remy out on the roof and smoke some pot with him and Bobby and Hank. None of you are going any where. All are still alive and well in my head. Calm the fuck down, my darlin' Cajun. I'm obsessed with Duncan and Methos and Connor right now.

I wish I could easily get distracted into a D/M or M and C short story. As if I ever actually write anything resembling an actual *short* story. I wish we still had a lyric wheel challenge. Hmm, I spend all my damn time listening to music. I could maybe start an HL lyric wheel challenge. I wonder if anyone would want to participate. I could ask. Or I could just start writing novel number three--the last one was ended about three years into D/M living together. Maybe close to four. Oh, seven years is usually a really hard year for most couples--40% of all divorces are in the 8th year of marriages. So why?

I'm only a psychologist--maybe I could hypothesize. I've certainly seen a lot of couples around that time. I think it has to do with accepting the realities of the flaws in the other individual that are simply not going to change--think, woman, think--it's just hard me for the think of Duncan and Methos in any way except crazy in love. That's just the damn way they live in my head. Omigods, if I had to live with Methos, he and I would totally have fireworks. We're too damn much alike. But by gods, our sex life would be dynamite. Ditto on the sex with Duncan but different conflicts completely.

They totally would not have issues with their sex lives. No, I don't think any of novel 3 should be about them having couples issues. Duncan would be patient and okay with all the alone time Methos would need to pursue whatever is going on with him--and there would always be oh gods, he'd always have something he'd want to be thinking about or creating.

And mother fucking son of bitch, I promised a client I'd finish the new Harry Dresden book by his session tomorrow. Gods. I'm only 150 pages into this 450 page novel. It will not get done by 3:00 tomorrow. Maybe I can distract him. He almost is willing to talk about HL instead if he just wants part of his session to be chatting. Hell, maybe I actually get him to talk about the important psychological issues in his life. Which you know is actually supposed to be my job. I know my 11:00 is ready to dive back into the issues started last week. 12:00 is like pulling teeth, but can be accomplished. 1:00 has immediate issues with a beloved grandparent just having died--and oh, gods, the issues with his girlfriend are still up in air. Okay enough already about patients. It's almost 1:00 am.

I want to think about D/M. As if I ever stop thinking about them. I kinda wonder if maybe I should start putting some thought into the fact that my 40th wedding anniversary is 6/1 of this year. Omigods, ruby anniversary. That sounds ridiculously indulgent, but kinda nice.

Okay, I now declare myself officially bonkers. I have just spent 20 minutes looking at tiny asymmetrical ruby pendant estate sale necklaces. I actually saw one that I think I'd wear. Me. I never fucking wear jewelry. But gods I do miss the solitaire tiny emerald necklace that Roy gave me over 30 years ago. I wish I knew how the hell it just disappeared. But emeralds are so more me than rubies are. My birthstone too.

Gods, babble, babble, babble. I think my first idea about next novel with action plot involving slavers was probably where I want to go. Certainly has the potential for more Methos PTSD. I think Methos is probably an endless mine of PTSD and I certainly don't think he's even close to being finished with PTSD from Kronos. Hell, PTSD from Bordeaux is an endless mine of psychological processing. It's almost 1:30 woman. I have to crash. Enough.

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Chapter 28 and Coda done, done, done

2026-02-01T05:40:51Z

Hey ho, the chapter's done, the book is done, the chapter's done. Hey ho, what in hell do I do now?

Well, it's almost 1:00 am. Maybe I should like not worry about starting another book. Maybe I should like maybe go and get some sleep for once.

I shall have time tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.

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Writing, writing, writing

2026-01-28T07:31:49Z

As in I have to STOP now. It is 2:30 am. I HAVE to be up by 9:30. I want to get up at 8:30 so I can write more. I am mad, as in out of my fucking mind, crazy.

Other voice in head--we are almost 5000 words into chapter 28. It will probably take less that another 1000 words to finish it. I WANT to finish it.

Voice of sanity: STOP. Sleep. The fucking chapter is NOT going to run away. It really won't. Methos is fine, Duncan is fine, Connor is fine, Amanda is fine. They all have carrot cake and Irish coffee. Go to bed.Right. Sanity is a good thing. Bed.

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Was headache, but forgot to post it until headache was gone (brilliant, right?)

2026-01-27T06:59:24Z

I cannot get a headache to go away. I cannot write fic while having a splitting headache. I'm frustrated because I think I'm definitely, positively, absolutely on the last chapter of my interminable Duncan/Methos fic.

And now my head hurts too badly to even keep writing an entry to this journal thingie I've hardly ever used anyway.

So, now that headache is gone, I'm writing and writing and writing. I honest to gods, think I'm on the last chapter of Past Imperfect. Present Pending which I may have to rename to Past Imperfect. Present Getting Better. I dunno.

And I have ideas for book 3 flying about in my head. All Duncan/Methos. Of course. But with an actual action adventure plot instead of it all being psychological--not that I'm capable of leaving psychological out of any plotting I do. No more than leaving sappy romantic things out of plots I do. I gotta get back to Connor and Methos--they're in the middle of an important scene.

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hlh_shortcuts request letter

2025-10-06T02:33:04Z

I don't actually know what to write here, but I'm trying to figure out how to request what I want on the sign up

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Starting over--I hope

2025-04-27T16:54:35Z

So, why am I here? The shortest and easiest answer is that after not having done so for over 15 years, I read some of my Highlander fic. And like it. And realized I missed it, missed the people I knew in fandom, even fandoms in which I don't share an interest, and realized I wanted to reconnect with that part of my life. And maybe even write more fic.

Why gone so long? The simplest answer is that beginning around 2011-2012, I started working over 50 hours/week. It wasn't particularly healthy or wise, but my husband was unemployed and my family needed the money and I had to work. Through more than four years of that time, I worked 30 or so hours/week at the GA State University Counseling Center as a contract therapist and maintained a private practice. When I left GSU, I had enough business to earn a living just doing the private practice, though I was still working too many hours.

Then there was Covid which didn't change much about the amount of work I had except I was now working from home and using video to see all my clients. There have been many other changes. If I manage to connect with any of the friends I used to have and if any of you are interested, I'll fill in the gaps.

At any rate, I'm here and hope to stay and be welcome.

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dswdiane @ 2009-04-19T14:02:00

2009-04-19T18:08:50Z

I cannot figure out how to upload my icons. But I am here. I'll probably write as much here as I do on LJ which is to say not so much.

But hello those of you who are my friends. *Waves happily*

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dswdiane

Actually gonna take care of myself. Miracles do happen.

Killa and writing and plotting

What *did* I do today?

Actually NOT a Misbehaving AO3

Aggravating muses

Writing

Damn story ideas

Wrote a lot

Why am I not in bed already?

Write Every Day Challenge

Trying to amuse myself

This and that

Activism for a good cause

Writing

Loose ends

Chapter 28 and Coda done, done, done

Writing, writing, writing

Was headache, but forgot to post it until headache was gone (brilliant, right?)

hlh_shortcuts request letter

Starting over--I hope

dswdiane @ 2009-04-19T14:02:00

What did I do today?